Dating a friend is widely recognized to be a pursuit fraught with potential complications. I learned this lesson the hard way when I started dating a friend in high school. Not only were we good friends, but our families were also extremely close and had been for years. When we broke up nine months later, all the usual post-breakup awkwardness and bitterness were multiplied tenfold by the fact that we were forced to hang out whenever our families got together, which was often. On the flip side, when we rekindled the flame after college, our friendship and the friendship between our families became one of the best parts about our more-than-friendship. We had a shared history, our siblings adored each other and we even went on a few joint-family vacations. The stakes are uniquely high.
What if I don’t like the person my best friend is dating?
Real women on dating your best friend, what happens when it goes wrong, and whether you can save the friendship after all.
Please leave empty:. A few years. A few weeks. A couple months. A couple days. I tell him everything. He knows everything about me, but I don’t know a lot about him.
Dating My Best Friend
Best friends falling in love is a common trope in many romantic comedies, and fortunately for the fictional lovers, it usually works out in the end, after a few twists and turns, of course. A few years ago, I realized that my feelings towards a good friend of mine were slowly becoming a little more than feelings of friendship. My first reaction was one of panic, and I wondered if this would ruin our friendship.
“My best friend and I showed up, not knowing for sure if it was a prank or what, and he was there and he’d roped a few friends into wearing.
We saw a movie about the Vietnam War and went back to his rented house for a beer. He stood there in front of us, wielding an imaginary door like an oversize shield. Henry went to bed, and, punchy from his performance, the cute, quirky guy and I started kissing. I dated him, Craig, for the rest of the school year. Our whole relationship played out in that rental house with Henry and their good friend Mason, who lived a few blocks away.
Our university was big, but these three guys had created a tiny, cozy world within it. Mason was writing an honors thesis on Joyce, and his huge poster board of index cards on Finnegans Wake was often in the room with us. This was the first I had heard of an undergraduate honors thesis, or possibly of Finnegans Wake. With the three of them I was always giddy from the banter, but when Craig and I were left alone we reverted to the way we had been on the couch before Henry came in.
When I had a break between classes during the day, I went to the house. By spring, I was timing my visits so that only Henry would be there. We talked in the kitchen, usually about books or writers.
Help! I’m in love with my best friend!
Jump to navigation. Dating your best friend can turn your most significant friendship into something really special. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.
Like a Rom-Com Protagonist, I Told My Best Friend I Was in Love With ever more appealing in the era of smoke-and-mirrors internet dating.
It was a strange thing to say to someone who had, at one point, been my best friend. But with people increasingly moving their communication from IRL to behind a screen, this cold behaviour has become fairly common. I must be a horrible person. I met Jess through mutual friends. Our friendship grew slowly over a few years — a text here and there, hanging out and chatting at parties, then the odd lunch.
When she went through a bad break-up we ended up spending more and more time together. At first I just put it down to the give and take of friendship. This is how it can be sometimes with those closest to us, right? It was when my father got into financial trouble that things started to change. He lost his job and my family fell into severe debt. My parents’ marriage became strained and, in the end, they split up. I was in pieces.
I Dated My Best Friend and It Only Lasted Two Days
Last Updated: December 12, References Approved. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. This article has been viewed , times. Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate. With your feelings, as well as those of your friend and your crush on the line, it can be extremely difficult to be sure what the right course of action is to take. Watching your friend date your crush can be tough, but it’s important to consider their feelings as well before deciding what to do.
When a close friend is dating someone you don’t like, what do you do? The answer is easy: you step in and do whatever it takes to break them up. Next question.
By: Mary Elizabeth Dean. Some of the best relationships start as friendships. If you find yourself crushing on your best friend, you might have met your soulmate. Many people are hesitant to start a relationship with a close friend for fear that the friendship will be ruined. The fact of the matter is, if your friendship is strong enough, it should stand the test of a relationship. On the other hand, if your best friend is the best person for you to be in a relationship with, you are doing yourself a disservice by resisting a relationship with him or her.
You should primarily be concerned about yourself and your happiness. If being with your best friend is going to bring you joy, you should go for it. There is no feeling better in life than love and happiness.
Best Friend, Soulmate: Why Dating Your Best Friend Might Be A Good Idea
Harry and Sally. Ross and Rachel. Dawson and Joey. Sam and Diane. Cher and Josh.
Here are some potential red flags to consider if you’re trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea.
Relationships are complicated in and of themselves, but when it comes to turning a friendship into a romance, the transition can be especially tricky. With your feelings, and of course, a friendship at stake, dating a friend you’ve known for years can be the best — and most terrifying — thing ever. Needless to say, the deciding factor is whether or not your feelings are returned, and whether you gain a significant other or lose a close confidant.
But while the future may be uncertain, experts say that there is a way to cross the line cautiously so as not to catch your crush off-guard and, at the very least, preserve your friendship if the attraction isn’t mutual. Ahead, you’ll hear from therapists who dish on the challenges and triumphs that can come with dating a friend, as well as one woman who tried it, herself spoiler: It didn’t work out in the long run. The gurus also give their pro advice on how to decide whether to pursue a romance and the best ways to go about it.
If you’ve been thinking about sharing your “more-than-friends” feelings with someone you care about, read on to determine whether it’s worth the risk.
Is Dating Your Best Friend A Good Idea?
The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other.
I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship.
My best friend and I have both liked the they guy for a while, but I knew best feelings were much stronger, so I let her go crush him, but it turns out he likes me.
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments. The new site update is up! I can likely never date him after all of this, but I’d still like to preserve our friendship, which–unlike our dating experience–was secure, healthy, and magnificent. But is that even possible? How can I handle this? Will we ever get back to normal? Background: I was convinced. I really thought that, being as close as we were, having never really fought about anything ever, this was sure to work out.
So sure was I that I even posted in here about potential issues with my parents not approving, etc. The answers were right about rushing in and idealizing the situation , and I learned a huuuuge lesson on this one.
Dating A Friend You’ve Known For Years Can Be The Best (& Most Terrifying Thing) Ever
Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for a while — a factor that we didn’t take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision.
Needless to say, it didn’t work out.
My best friend is dating my crush. Now she’s asking me to give her advice about their relationship. What do I do?
Falling in love with and then subsequently dating your best friend is obviously a well-worn rom-com trope , but can it ever actually work out IRL? Sure, your significant other is supposed to be your best friend, but some buddies never pursue a romance out of fear that they’ll break up and ruin their relationship in the process. Things can get tricky in a hurry.
To see how friendships-turned-romances really play out, we asked women what actually happened when they dated their besties. The results are surprisingly mixed and occasionally hilarious :. I wish we never did because when we broke up, even though it was amicable, I lost someone that otherwise could have been a friend for life. He was a really special person, and although it wouldn’t have worked out romantically, I would give anything to go back in time and keep him as a friend.
It seemed like the perfect idea: date an already-close friend. The trust is already there, you already have the structures and habits in place for hanging out together, and adding sex into the mix is just a bonus. But then it went bad. Awfully, horrendously bad. Initially, the problems stemmed from the slow-burn of our relationship and the fact that we never really sat down and defined what we were doing. Were we dating?